My wife and I have been reading a few sections from Spurgeon’s autobiography over the past few days. The following quote is from Volume 2. I lack appropriate words to introduce this quote yet I hope that it will hit the intended mark for you as I find that it did with me.
“As for myself, I am compelled to say with solemn truthfulness that I am not content with anything I have ever done. I have half wished to live my life over again, but now I regret that my proud heart allowed me so to wish, since the probabilities are that I should do worse the second time. Whatever grace has done for me I acknowledge with deep gratitude; but so far as I have done anything myself I beg pardon for it. I pray God to forgive my prayers, for they have been full of fault; I beseech him to forgive even this confession, for it is not as humble as it ought to be; I beseech him to wash my tears and purge my devotions, and to baptize me into a true burial with my Savior, that I may be quite forgotten in myself, and only remembered in him.”
C. H. Spurgeon, Autobiography: The Full Harvest, p. v.