Category Archives: marriage

She Is Far More Precious Than Jewels

King Lemuel’s mother taught him wise words about the value of a godly wife. Before describing this admirable woman in detail, momma Lemuel said:

“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” (Prov. 31:10)

In other words, the value of this woman can’t even be estimated by the currency of the day. She is off the charts of the gold standard. If your mind has trouble wrapping itself around the huge monetary value of the U. S. national debt, just give it up when it comes to this gal. Her value…is inestimable.

But notice what follows verse 10. What follows is a frankly domestic description of this excellent woman. She is a homemaker par excellence. This will sound abrasive to those of us whose ears have been trained by modern feminist ideology. But this reaction is just a matter of upside-down priorities and unbiblical ambitions. And to be clear, whether a wife finds her calling to require work outside the home is not the issue. The Proverbs 31 woman did (Prov. 31:14, 16, 24).  Godly women in the New Testament did (1 Tim. 5:10). But even when this is the case, the tail shouldn’t wag the dog. A woman’s purpose in the home shouldn’t take a backseat to her pursuits outside of the home. 

Dorothy Patterson comments on this idea from Proverbs 31:

“The ideal woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 is clearly pouring her energies into her home, the management of her household, the rearing of her children, the helping of her husband. Whatever she does relating to property transactions or producing and selling merchandise is obviously secondary and related to the bartering common to that time.”[1]

And lest we think that Mrs. Patterson is merely suffering from too many reruns of Little House on the Prairie, we ought to remember that by wordly standards she is a rather accomplished woman as well. She is a graduate level professor, a successful author of both books and journal articles, a sought-after speaker, and the general editor of The Women’s Study Bible. Yet she happily describes herself primarily as “a homemaker” and this is the calling that “has always commanded her time, energy, and creativity.” So the old argument that “you just don’t know what joy and sense of fulfillment there are in wordly accomplishments” falls flat. May her tribe increase. And may the ladies reading this post be one of that tribe.

A recent post from the Gospel Coalition drives this point home well in a recent post, How Much Is a Homemaker Worth? Here is a snippet:

The Story: A study conducted by the financial service company Mint found that the sum value of different homemaking duties annually amounts to almost six figures. If a homemaker’s job were salaried, it would draw, on average, $96,291 per year. Tasks accounted for in the study included private chef, house cleaner, child care provider, driver, and laundry service provider.

[1] A Handbook For Minister’s Wives, p. 155.


Song of Songs: Redeeming Marriage Seminar

It is easy to wreck a marriage but hard to rebuild. Find both hope and how-to’s from God’s Word as we look at the biblical book titled, “The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s.” We will see how marriage displays Christ’s relationship to his church and also how we are to live with our spouse in covenant companionship.

Grace and Truth Community Church, Saturday Sept 24, 9am-12:30pm

Resolved To Be Given Over to God in 2011

With New Year’s Eve upon us it is worth taking the time to reevaluate the way the year has gone and to set goals for the year to come. You might want to think about your Bible reading or prayer habits. Or maybe you want to set a goal regarding showing more hospitality or getting more involved in serving others. Maybe you have a particular sin that the Lord is convicting you of and you need to focus on putting that off for the glory of God. Maybe you need to grow stronger in your understanding of Christian doctrine or to work on restoring a broken relationship. Whatever it is I would encourage you to take on the spirit of the Apostle Paul who said:

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:12-14)

I don’t know what New Year’s resolutions you might have but I can tell you that one of mine is very well summed up in the following video. Years ago I had a man comment on the strong godly character of my wife and he remarked to me that he thought that she would storm the gates of hell with me if she was called upon to do it. Looking back on that comment now, I can see that he was more right than he could have known at the time. Truly, God could not have blessed me with a greater companion for life. But then, I remember that every wife and every family needs a husband and father that will prove himself to be valient for them. In light of my own failings, here is a good song and a good reminder of this truth. What kind of man will I be today?

Here is the story behind the song.

HT: Founders Blog

Can A Person Be Saved and Still Be Living With Secret Sin?

Here is a great answer from David Powlison:

And here is the book, Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, he recommends:

The chapters, which are separate essays done by different people, are as follows:

  1. “Sex and the Supremacy of Christ: Part One” – John Piper
  2. “Sex and the Supremacy of Christ: Part Two” – John Piper
  3. “The Goodness of Sex and the Glory of God” – Ben Patterson
  4. “Making All Things New: Restoring Pure Joy to the Sexually Broken” – David Powelison
  5. “Homosexual Marriage as a Challenge to the Church: Biblical and Cultural Reflections” – R. Albert Mohler
  6. “Sex and the Single Man” – Mark Dever, Michael Lawrence, Matt Schmucker
  7. “Sex, Romance and the Glory of God: What Every Christian Husband Needs to Know” – C. J. Mahaney
  8. “Sex and the Single Woman” – Carolyn McCulley
  9. “Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God: What Every Christian Wife Needs to Know” – Carolyn Mahaney
  10. “Martin Luther’s Reform of Marriage” – Justin Taylor
  11. “Christian Hedonists or Religious Prudes? The Puritans on Sex” – Mark Dever


Marriage and the Gospel

Here is a good conference if you can get away for it.

Dates: October 1 & 2, 2010

Location: Location: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Harrisburg Hilton & Towers, 1 N. Second Street, Harrisburg, PA 17101

The plenary speaker: Dr. Tedd Tripp, Author of Shepherding A Child’s Heart (Dr. Tripp’s session will include new, never before presented, fresh material on marriage and family).

The session speakers are:

  • Jay Younts: Author, Everyday Talk, how your day to day talk and banter affects your marriage and family. This breakout will also offer a short segment on the practical issues of blended families.
  • John Crotts: Author, Craftsmen, wisdom for husbands & fathers.
  • Dr. Tedd Tripp: the Empty Nest Season of Marriage.
  • Margy Tripp: Redemption in relationships. Co-author, Instructing A Child’s Heart.
  • Dr. Rick Horne: Author, Get Outta My Face!, engaging angry, unmotivated, disinterested teens with biblical counsel.
  • Dr. Ed Welch: Guest Author, Blame it on the Brain?, dealing with children who have developmental issues such ADHD.
  • What Did You Expect?

    John Wesley’s mother, Susanna, wrote to her son saying, ‘Tis an unhappiness almost peculiar to our family, that your father and I seldom think alike.’[1] Well, in my experience of pastoral ministry (not to mention my own marriage!), I have seen that dear Susanna was definitely wrong to assume that thinking differently than your spouse was a plight unique to her marriage.

    Often times the presence of unrealistic or unbiblical expectations creates a stumbling block in Christian marriages. In fact, I have to wonder if this is not a contributing factor to most conflicts in marriage. Usually it is hard to ignore the reality of disagreement or conflict, especially with our spouse. But I think the way we deal with conflict or disagreement often fails to go deep enough. There are many superficial ways to deal with problems in relationships that I think fail to get at the heart of our expectations for our spouse and our marriage.  A quick-fix that doesn’t really address the heart issues may postpone conflict for awhile but not really resolve the heart problems from which conflict comes. We must let the love of Christ and the lordship of Christ be clearly governing and shaping our hopes, concerns and desires for our marriage and our spouse.

    With this in mind, I recommend you married folks check out this book by Paul Tripp. Although I would generally encourage you to use the book format if you are able, there are also DVD and audio versions available for those of you who would be helped by that.

    [1] John Pollock, John Wesley, p. 36